Life With Social Anxiety

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in Coping

Without doing research first, a person would probably deduce that shyness is the same as social anxiety disorder; the two are worlds away from each other. People with social anxiety want to have friends and lead normal lives, but they fear rejection or embarrassment in particular social situations.

This article will look at different social situations and give you an insight into what the socially anxious person feels in those situations. We will look at social anxiety in the classroom, dating, and eating in public.

Social Anxiety Disorder in the Classroom

We all know it is important to ask for help in a classroom setting if you have concerns, a question, or do not understand something. For a person with social anxiety disorder, the fear of “asking a stupid question” might be enough to keep them from asking at all. In some other cases, they might not ask a teacher for help because they fear that the educator will think they are “dumb” or “stupid.” In some cases this will lead to poor grades for the social anxiety sufferer.

Individuals with social anxiety disorder are often overlooked or “invisible” in the classroom. They will appear to be uninterested by teachers because they fail to ask for help when their grades continue to fall. Sometimes the fear that comes along with social anxiety is so great that many will choose to drop out of school.

Dating With Social Anxiety

Did you know social phobia sufferers are far less likely to get married or even date for that matter? Dating is one of the social interactions that people with social anxiety disorder fear. It is the fear of rejection that will keep people from dating. Statements such as “I won’t or don’t know what to say” or “He or She won’t like me” are common from those who suffer from this debilitating anxiety disorder. Men with social anxiety will tend to have worst end as far as dating goes because of social norms, because it is usually expected that a male will approach a female to initiate courting.
Eating and Writing in Public

Most people eat out at restaurants, but for the person with social anxiety it is a dreaded experience. A person with social phobia will fear that when they’re eating out that other people will think he or she is not following proper eating manners. If with social anxiety does choose to “eat out” they will endure it with extreme distress.

Lastly, we look at sufferers who fear writing in public. Signing forms or other documents in public is a trivial act to most people. For those with social anxiety, blushing, sweating, and trembling are all too common physical symptoms that occur when trying to write something in front of others. The person with social phobia will think the person in front of them or behind him or her is criticizing their penmanship. Sometimes the person who suffers from social anxiety will think the person watching him or her thinks the sufferer is taking too much time to write or sign something.

Social anxiety disorder can limit a person socially, financially, and academically. If you’re an anxiety sufferer and want to stop the cycle of fear, then check out our article on finding help for social anxiety.

Related Social Anxiety Information…

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  • Hi, 

    Its really nice article guys about Social Anxiety Disorder. I really liked this article to read. 

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  • Yes it can be really debilitating and something governments around the world should be doing more to cure.
  • I am a quite and lonesome person when I was a child so, social anxiety should accompany my behavior. I still am quite person now but not lonely anymore since I am married. I overcome this by keeping my will and self esteem strong and learn how to love myself more thus I learn to love other person. Keep finding friends on the school, internet or phone and meet to slowly improve your social ability.
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  • slw36
    Hi I am new here, but had some questions. I have been dealing with social anxiety for my whole life so far. I am a female in my mid thirties. My limitations involve going out places where I feel that i am being watched or scrutinized or at work when I am in front of people. I am not nervous about performance at least not conciously, but when i am being looked at even in casual conversation, I turn beet red for no apparent reason. This is humiliating and prevents me from feeling socially acceptable. I dread meeting new people and even talking for fear of blushing which seems utterly stupid but this is how i feel. Can anyone relate to how I feel?
  • Chingadaris
    Same exact highschool Go through for me ^ I The thing was I was always considered a funny cool guy and would always make peaple laugh during class. Every social endevor I would go through however. I would start getting really Hot and start panicking and would think about what I was going a hundred times in my head so I didnt make a fool of my self. Also I would know the answer's in class but would'nt raise my hand so just in case I was wrong I would'nt look like a fool. I am still the same way in certain situation's. People find it so strange that whenever they invite me to go somewhere I alway decline them or make an excuse. I just get so scared that im going to make a fool out of my self.

    However my senior year I kinda broke out of my shell and started to things and having friends. I still have a tendency to Ignore them however out of some strange fear that I might meet someone new when I hang out with them. The biggest problem for me with SAD Is my inability to date anyone out of countless anxieties of how the date will turn out. When I finally do go on a date I know that the girl want me to kiss her and be intimat I just get so freaked out and start to panick. Then afterward I feel like such an idiot for not making a move.... sigh

  • tokiohotel89
    I'm only 15 and i have social anxiety. i dont have it very bad, but i do have it. I always need someone to accompany me when im going somewhere with people i dont know. My friend actually ditched me for her boyfriend and left me in the hall by myself. i started to have rapid breathing and i backed into the lockers trying to get myself away from the people looking at me. I slowly made my way down into the cafe knowing full well that people woulf look and judge me when i entered, so i avoided lunch and sat in the bathroom clutching my stomach cos i was so hungry. :( I used to be afraid of talking in front of other people, but i can only talk to groups of up to 13 or 15 people. any groups bigger i cant barely talk cos im so scared that the people i dont know are watching me and thinking mean thoughts about me. Ive been this way since i was little. ive had a rocky past and highschool doesnt make it better. I was always a shy girl and never talked in class for fear i would give the wrong answer. im very smart and often in my classes the teacher will say something and i will know the answer when no one else does, i just dont raise my hand. i want so badley to overcome this, and thankfully i am. im facing my fears. ive been doing better on my own and have even walked into the lunchroom ALONE 4 times this year! :D I also raise my hand maybe once every class. and i have a lot more self confidence then i did in 8th grade. i thought that social anxiety disorder could never be treated for me, but im doing it all myself. ive had many experinces where ive avoided giving speeches or faked sick to get out of doing a presentation, but thats all in the past. i still have SAD, but its VERY minimal and i believe that i might get over it all!
  • LauraLydia
    I just discovered this site too. But I see, April, that you posted nine months ago? Is this site still active?

    Anyway, I've had SAD pretty much all my life, but had no idea what it was for most of that time. I thought it was just me and was forever trying to leave this or that situation, or this or that part of me, behind. Or I thought that once I resolved my self-esteem issues, I'd be okay. Well, having SAD can result in your self-esteem taking a beating, that's for sure. But I think my self-esteem was basically okay. It was the SAD that was the problem. It still is. In fact, it's funny how, over time, I realize more and more how it's impacted my life. Choices in career, never letting myself move ahead or trying for anything, choices in marriage, etc.

    In a lot of ways, I've just kept myself distracted. I have two kids (my son is now 23, my daughter 15), I went to law school (how's that for a bad choice? I still love the subject matter, but needless to say, I am not a litigator), and now, as my kids obviously need me a whole lot less, I'm at complete loose ends. (I've been divorced for ten years.) I want people in my life and want to do something about meeting more people -- but that all seems a much better idea in theory than in practice. On any given night, it always seem so much easier to just go home than to do anything to actively change my situation.

    I guess that's it for now. So. Anybody out there? Anybody feel the same?
  • Serenity31
    Hi Lydia,

    I've kinda felt the same way throughout my life. I haven't been diagnosed with SAD but I have a feeling that it's something I suffer from. I've pretty much managed to go through college without participating in class. My big fear is to make a mistake, say something stupid, mispronounce something, etc. and have others think that I'm stupid. Miraculously, I graduated with top honors. This year I started law school at a top 10 school. I lasted 2 weeks. Somewhere between the first and second week I completely crumbled. The cold calling in front of a 90 people class really shattered me. I got so nervous (I wasn't even called on but just the possibility freaked me out) that I stopped eating and sleeping for a week. I couldn't concentrate on my readings and that just made me feel more and more stupid as I couldn't keep up with class room discussion. I was given anti-anxiety medication during this time but that just made me drowsy in class and didn't help much with sleeping. By the end of week 2 I was so emotionally distraught, I had to withdraw from law school. At the time, I questioned whether I wanted to be an attorney and used that as the main excuse for my decision to withdraw. However, now I'm questioning that in itself and whether in fact it was my social anxiety that beat me down to a pulp. I've suffered from depression from an early age but have always been able to cope, function and follow-through with things. Right now I'm trying to work on this issue to see if law school is something I want, but a large part of it will have to be me working on the SAD issue. Right now I will try EMDR and I also want to try Toastmasters. Sorry for the long message. I guess I'm just wondering how you coped with the law school experience having SAD.
  • Mitch9911
    Wow, people like me. Odd, the people in this message chain have something in common - an interest in law school. I also applied but never went. I recently found out I have SAD (self diagnosis). Life has been difficult but we strive. I am happily married, 5 kids, good work position but could do so much more. But won't. Don't want the attention.
    I can tell you that Toastmasters can help, but for me it has not cured my issues. I have been a member for over 16 years and even served as President multiple times. What it has done for me is that when I am cornered into having to get a presentation (all my other covert and overt efforts to get out of it have failed) I can get thru it most times. So far so good. I cannot imagine seeking out a speaking opportunity.
    It is crazy but so encouraging to know there are others like me (not happy for you).
    I continue to seek a daily supporter that is also a sufferer. I can also be reached at yahoo under my name. I have no ulterior motives other than relief of this monster appropriately called sad.
  • April
    I just found this web site. I have had SAD for all my life and didn't know what it was called. I stupidly thought that the massive amounts of alcohol (liquid courage) that I consumed from teen years to early 40’s helped socially, although I usually embarrassed myself more in some way or another by overindulging - I finally quit drinking because I decided that I would no longer make an intoxicated fool of myself at a Christmas Party ever again (that was 10 years ago). I took Paxil for many years and other meds, but hated the side affects. Now I don’t take anything and just stay safely at home most of the time. My parents called it extremely shy. I call it painful. I met both of my husbands while intoxicated, and have divorced them both. Sober I meet no one.

    I was invited to a Christmas party this year and I was half way there and turned around and went home. I convinced myself that I was going to be the only single person there, that my make-up looked awful, that my hair looked like crap, and what I was wearing wasn’t good enough. My cruel boss had told me previously in the year that no one liked me. I heard her voice (in my head that night) telling me that no one likes me. OMG why would I go to a party where the only people I know are employees that don’t like me? Crazy thing is I know that I am liked and that she is mean. Something took over and convinced me that I would be a fool to show up. So I went home and cried.
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